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I thought I was done with the coming-out process, but I am coming out again, only this time on Psychology Today as a former sex-addiction therapist. Today I treat those struggling with out-of-control sexual behaviors much differently and more successfully with my current education and understanding about what sexual health is, and tailor it to each individual. The reason? The longer I was in the field of sex addiction treatment the more I found both the label and many of the interventions antiquated, limiting and sometimes even harmful -- especially when working with gay and bisexual men. Sex addiction treatment began to reveal itself to me as simplistic, moralistic and judgmental rather than truly diagnostic. The more I learned, the more I saw a number of problems embedded in the interventions within the model -- negative messages of shame, erotophobia and homophobia -- which were inextricably entwined in the treatment.
When Straight Men are Addicted to Gay Sex
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I have heard from any number of women who are understandably shocked and confused to find out that the man they are seeing or married to has been having sexual experiences with other men. Sometimes it is in the form of actual sexual encounters in various situations and sometimes it is only in the context of cybersex experiences. These are situations in which the relationship had previously seemed like a normal heterosexual one.